Knowing When To STOP.

I love history and history is full of stories of people who never quit when they were faced with overwhelming odds only to persevere and achieve the impossible. What we don't hear about is all those poor suckers who died trying and never achieved their goal or earned the recognition they sought.

I read something Oprah Winfrey wrote about how when we are going in the wrong direction, God whispers to us. Then it’s a gentle nudge to change course or a tap on the shoulder. If you don’t pay attention, the next one might be a shove in the right direction and if you keep ignoring the message, you might get hit upside the head with a brick. Sometimes we fight against challenges and difficulties thinking we are being tested for our strength or fortitude. We say look how strong am I. Look at how much weight I can bear. Look at how I can keep going even as the obstacles pile up. Maybe the message from God, your higher power or even the universe is not about not testing our strength, but advising us to alter our course.

So here is where I am on this, I hate quitting and don't consider myself a quitter, but I do believe that sometimes it is wise to stop and reevaluate the situation in the face of mounting odds. Whether it’s a tech program you bought hoping it would work as promised that you decide to abandon before you sink too much of your time trying to make it work. Or perhaps a work idea that seemed so great once but isn’t unfolding the way you thought. Or even a personal relationship you keep putting more and more into without getting anything in return. Sometimes, it’s okay to quit or reroute your energy and time.

But at what point do you say "enough is enough and it's time to cut my losses and move forward?”  I wish there was an easy rule to follow, but the truth is that the answer changes with each new and unique situation. For me, the answer often comes down to experience and resource allocation. You see, if I am devoting time, money, or talent to a cause that doesn't appear to be going anywhere, than I am limited in perusing future opportunities. Continuing to put energy into the program, the work idea or the unreciprocal personal relationship may be keeping you from a better program, a new work idea with real traction or a budding friendship with a person capable of the give and take needed in any meaningful relationship.

So before becoming involved with anything, I try to define what success looks like, how far I am willing to go to achieve that success, and what will be my exit strategy if it turns out I might be headed down the wrong path.