I hear many of my friends, family and colleagues talk about their children and how they want their kids to do better than they did. What is better? Is it a better education, a better job, a faster car or a bigger house? Do these things even matter and if so, to what degree? I also hear parents, myself included, say I just want them to be happy. But again, what does happy mean and does it mean something different to us than it does to our children?
For most of us to be happy, we need the skills to get along well with others while we pursue our own needs. It's like we've touched upon with Ubuntu, we are not really independent beings moving past each other separately in the world. We are interconnected, interdependent and a great deal of how we see ourselves come from how we believe others see us. So how do we prepare our kids for this?
Likewise, we must recognize that the world will change for our children as it did from our parents time to our own. What core skills and values can we give our kids that will help them no matter what their adult world looks like? And how can we ensure that our kids have the makeup and skills to pursue their own happiness, whatever it is?
Resiliency
Resiliency is the ability to overcome challenges and bounce back stronger and smarter. Resiliency is so important because our kids will no doubt be faced with difficulties and challenges in their life no matter how much we wish we could protect them from this.
Character
Character is the qualities that make up a person and ethical values that guide their choices. Important qualities of character include trustworthiness, responsibility, fairness, respect, caring and citizenship. Most universal values fit somewhere into these and without these qualities, a person’s life will no doubt be more difficult.
Discipline
Discipline is the ability to assert your willpower over your more base desires in order to give you the motivation to not do things that lead you further from your aims and to do those things that take you closer to your goals. Without discipline, it is difficult to get the things you want and getting the things you want can lead you toward happiness.
Relational And Communication Skills
Relational skills refer to how a person relates to other people. Qualities like patience, trustworthiness, empathy, reliability and influence are valuable tools for getting along with others. Likewise, if your child learns to be a solid communicator, they're more likely to be able to help meet their own needs and the needs of others and move about easier in the world.
Planning And Problem-Solving
Solid planning skills help us all figure out what we want and how to get there. On their pursuit of happiness, difficulties are a certainty, which is why problem-solving skills are essential as your children make their way through the world.
Serving, Teamwork And Leadership
Throughout our lives, we all wear many different hats and it's important to have the flexibility to do this. An important tool we can teach our children is the ability to serve others, to work in a team and to lead a team.
Identity And Self-Worth
Your identity can be said to be how you see your own character and your self worth is a measure of how valuable you believe yourself to be. If we can raise our children to feel loved and valued, we can help them identify the many gifts they have to offer.
Our world may look very different for our children as adults but there are some qualities that are so fundamental, they will help our children grow to be the next generation of leaders in a sometimes uncertain future.
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