Keeping Your Cool At Work.

Have you had a time at work where you lost your cool?

• Maybe a difficult client wasn’t happy no matter what you did.  
• It could of been a coworker didn’t pull their weight on a job and you had to finish it up.  
• How about that supervisor who you felt was over critical of your work. 

We have all been there, your heart starts pounding, your jaw clenches, your hands become fists and you feel like the Incredible Hulk, ready to yell, throw things around and smash stuff.

We all understand that yelling, explosions and meltdowns don’t fix problems but in the heat of the moment, good sense can sometimes take a back seat to anger, irritation and defensiveness. This can leave us vulnerable to overreacting, alienating our coworkers and supervisors and even risk losing a job. When you feel the ‘mean green’ coming on, how can you cool down, stay calm and handle the issue in a way that isn’t inappropriate, unfair to others or bad for yourself long term?

1. Breathe
Taking a few deep breathes, and yes, even counting to ten can calm you down to buy you a little time to check your reaction before you open your mouth. Feelings come and feelings go and there isn't a great deal you can do to control a feeling  but you can control your reaction. 

2. Vent to someone safe
Maybe it is your spouse, friend or a trusted coworker but sometimes just telling someone what happened and getting a little support can go a long way in relieving the frustration or anger you are feeling. Sometimes a situation needs real attention and sometimes we just need to move forward. When problems come up that really have no solution it can still help to know that someone understands.

3. Call a time out
If things start to get too intense, sometimes it can be best take a time out and remove yourself from the situation. Even if it is just for a few minutes, go for a short walk, clear your head and take some time to think about how best to handle the situation.  Just do whatever it may takes to step out of the moment. 

4. When someone pushes your buttons, don’t push back
This one is  tough because some people just know how to say things in a way that gets under your skin. It's wise to remember that the best way to stop "button-pushers" is to stop pushing back. Some people want to argue or start problems and if you refuse to take the bait, they have to fish elsewhere. You have the power to choose not to fall into their game.

5. Talk it out
If you need to take action to resolve a problem, do it right. Be direct and ready to listen. Let the person you are angry with know that you see their point of view but this is how you see the situation and tell them how you think it should be worked out. The goal should not be about being "right" or making someone else look or feel bad. It should be about creating in the other person, a willingness to help come up with a solution.  There is always a third alternative that works for everyone.

Think about the respected people we know who consistently choose the high road in conflict, never letting their anger or feelings of injustice divert them from their path. People like Martin Luther King and Gandhi reigned in their anger to put their energy into real change. These were not weak men, they were profoundly powerful and their strength was in their ability to stay in control and see the big picture.  You to have it in you to chose the best response to any given situation for a more favorable outcome.