One Finger Cannot Lift a Pebble

“One finger cannot lift a pebble.”—Malawi Proverb

We Americans really seem to value our self-sufficiency. Among leaders, this reverence for ‘going it alone’ gets even greater traction. Self-sufficiency, independence, self-reliance, autonomy—all of these words have exceedingly positive connotations. But a quick look at the antonyms tells another story entirely—need, reliance, addiction, inability and inaptitude. We really tend to see needing others as a weakness.

So it might surprise you that in the world of leadership, needing the help of others is often seen as a sign of strength. Asking for help, no matter what we are told through words and actions growing up, is not in fact, a sign of weakness. Likewise, many of us have been taught that asking for another’s help will make them see us a burden, irritate or infuriate a person or even put distance between us.

Rather than pushing people away, asking for help brings people closer to us. Think about it for a minute. We are humans, creatures who rely on community for a big part of our emotional and physical well being. When someone asks something of us, we feel important, vital and needed. We also can feel like a productive exchange has happened that takes some of the pressure off of us for needing others so acutely. We can say to ourselves, see, I need them but they need me too. It allows us to create relationships with the people around us that aren’t dependent, or codependent but rather interdependent.

It may seem utterly counterintuitive to many leaders out there but here are three truths about leadership balanced with interdependence:

• Asking for help is a mark of a strong, self-actualized leader with high levels of personal awareness.
• Humility, that belief that we are no better or worse than any one else, is among the most prevalent traits in history’s respected and loved leaders.
• When a respected, competent person asks for help, he draws people to him by creating a relationship of mutual giving. 

Ubuntu , the African philosophy that has come to define our corporate culture here at Stathakis, is about just this interdependence, this idea that we humans work best when we work together. What does the Malawi proverb “one finger cannot lift a pebble” really mean? It means that some things, no matter how simple they might appear, require the cooperation and help of others to accomplish.